The last 2 weeks have been very tough. This post is to raise awareness of the effect stress has on your body and how tough life with an itchy skin condition can be.
Friday 13th October, the day I had taken annual leave to sort my grandma’s wardrobe but instead ended up sorting her funeral.
8 am, I entered her room full of happiness and excitement, “today is the day, are you excited?” She looked peaceful as if she was sleeping, so I went to gently stroke her hand and immediately knew she had passed away. She was ice-cold, her chest wasn’t rising. It was like second nature; I immediately tried to find a pulse first in her wrist, then upon touching her neck I knew it was too late. She was completely stiff.
Upon this realization my whole body started shaking, I turned to get out of the room and tears started streaming, I bumped into my grandpa on his way in to say good morning I couldn’t get any words to come out of my mouth. The only word I could get out was gran and I’ll never forget the look on his face of realization of what had happened.
After a few deep breaths, mere seconds I realized I had to handle it. Immediately called my uncle, we were all soo grief stricken I had no idea what to do.
Me and grandpa went into the room I knew she was gone
The last 2 weeks have been very tough. This post is to raise awareness of the effect stress has on your body and how tough life with an itchy skin condition can be. After finding my gran, I had my first panic attack in years, my whole body started shaking, I turned to get out of the room and tears started streaming, I bumped into my grandpa I couldn’t get any words to come out of my mouth.
The only word I could get out was gran and I’ll never forget the look on his face of realization of what had happened. After a few deep breaths, mere seconds I realized I had to handle it. I knew she had passed and nothing could be done. I called 999, and 10 mins later 2 ambulance workers arrived. Two ambulance workers whom I sadly recognized, being a small area had sadly become quite familiar faces often driving Gran to the hospital in an ambulance and often upon discharge.
Next thing we had lots of police and they advised us really well. I called an undertaker moving Grandpa to the living room with the minister whilst I showed each person who had to come in where my Gran was. Every time I re-entered the room I started crying again. My coping mechanism was to sort everything out thing I called the GP got the death certificate and registered her death. Then I decided to make Grandpa’s egg mayo from scratch rather than use the ham in the fridge? brain clearly wasn’t working… I scrubbed every inch of the house and did all the cleaning tasks that me and gran was going to do. stripping her bed whilst crying, the shower… That night I couldn’t sleep at all constantly checking on my grandpa. It wasn’t until 5 p.m. the next day that the rest of my family arrived. and I felt I could finally breathe.
The worst 24 hours of my life.
My eyelids erupted with eczema pretty quickly from the tears and then my hands from wiping them and up my arms. Skin barrier broken… The condolence flowers began to arrive and my skin barrier couldn’t cope and I ended up having an allergic reaction to lillies. hello swollen eyes, breathing issues, and A&E.
Been having weird dreams, and disturbed sleep, and one time I was sleepwalking and talking about my gran turning lights on and opening draws.
I am listening to my body’s subconscious screams for help and enquiring about therapy. Be your own advocate and prioritize your wellbeing!
Nearly 5 months on I am navigating my grief but with each day it gets a little easier ! Any support on this podcast I was on would mean the world ;
https://www.instagram.com/reel/C3pWnYvNTFP/?igsh=eDk0enJ1YWY4a3di
Itch N Bitch 